BURNT IN THE OVEN!

It’s all my fault. What a week! On a weekend when the world appears to be going raving mad, I was sure I was getting breakfast well-cooked but like everything else going on, something went wrong, terribly wrong.

A military coup against a democratically elected government was unfolding live on TV with dozens killed and many wounded. I am not talking of an African banana republic or one of those trigger happy lands in South America. I am talking about Turkey, a member of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) in the heart of Europe. The military actually

attempted to kill President Erdogan. This is the same land where a group of suicide bombers went to a busy airport just a few days ago, blew themselves up and caused absolute mayhem to many.

This is while the world is still reeling from the carnage the day before in Nice in the South of France where a French Tunisian born man drove a cooling van into a crowd of people enjoying the celebration of the annual Bastille Day, the French Day of Independence. To everyone’s horror, the mad man mowed down 84 innocent people and left hundreds of others maimed for life in a terror strike the likes of which the world had never seen.

While all these were unfolding, Donald Trump, the wacko who wants to make America great again was announcing that Governor Mike Pence of Indiana would be his Vice President. That is if despite his insidious bigotry, Americans in a moment of madness in November elect him their President.

I have not talked about the madness in Abuja where Dino-Dino, the bad boy of the Senate is staging a crazy Nollywood like movie at the National Assembly.

People, have you heard that the huge Federal Secretariat Phase 2 complex with several ministries, ministers and government agencies in Abuja was cut off by the electricity authorities for close to a month? The government of the Federal Republic of Nigeria is said to be owing millions in electricity bills at the secretariat, the hob of the implementation of government policies. The huge standby generators have long stopped standing by. They are dead. So everywhere has been pitch dark. In other words, no one could charge a phone; no one could use a computer, no one could hold a meeting and none of the thousands of people who work in the secretariat could do any work for the people of Nigeria who they expect to pay them millions in salaries at the end of the month. They just loitered around and walked away most of the time. How did this come to be? Does any of it make any sense?

This was a day with the ingredients to make a sumptuous breakfast. Indeed, I was concluding Saturday Breakfast this morning when the lap top suddenly went dead. Yes, Ikeja DISCO was not at work. They were as usual on standby. Luckily my long suffering generator has been a good boy lately. Apart from a few plug changes, it has worked far beyond whatever the designer had in mind. So why did the laptop suddenly go dead? I was alarmed. Upon close examination, I found that in my haste to cook Saturday Breakfast, with everything that was going on, I had forgotten to plug the laptop to the electricity supply and I had not saved what I had cooked! Try as I did, I could not recover the delicacy. It was burnt in the oven.

Please people, accept my profound apologies for serving you mere crackers this morning. I will try my best to offer you a full course meal next Saturday.

See you next week.